This quiz translates real capybara quirks (hot-spring loafing, herd harmony, grass-forward cuisine, gentle squeak-chat) into everyday human scenarios. Answer 18 questions and you’ll get your Capy-Index, badges, and snackable mini-metrics. It’s fun, fast, and suspiciously soothing.
How Capybara Are You?
18 questions. Find your Capy-Index.
Real capybara quirks, translated to human life: onsen soaks, herd vibes, grass buffets, squeak-chat. Answer and get your Capy-Index, badges, and mini-metrics.
What this test measures (the 6 capy axes)
- Loaf/Chill — your ability to de-stress and become furniture on command.
- Herd Sociality — how you vibe with groups, from lone bean to blanket-fort mayor.
- Hydro Affinity — your relationship with water, baths, rain, and onsen roleplay.
- Forage/Fiber Discipline — snack choices: “grass buffet” vs. “sugar lake.”
- Vocalizer Energy — communication style, from nose-exhale to squeak-trill bard.
- Open-Perch Policy — tolerance for other creatures intrusions (dogs, ducks, neighbors’ cats etc).
How to use the test
- Click through 18 scenario prompts. Pick the option that feels most like you (not your aspirational capy-self).
- Skip is allowed, but the Capy-Index is spicier with full answers.
- When you finish, you’ll see your Capy-Index, axis meters, badges, and a short, personalized verdict.
- Copy/share your result. Invite friends. Form a well-regulated loaf circle.
How to read your results
Your main number is the Capy-Index (0–100). Then you’ll see six meters, one for each axis. Badges appear for any axis at 75%+ (e.g., “Loaf Lord” or “Aquanaut”). Three mini-metrics summarize your vibe:
- Hydro-Chill Index — water plus rest discipline; spa-core energy.
- Herd Stability Index — how others naturally arrange themselves around you.
- Forage Fidelity — fiber habits; the salad that squeaks when you chew.
Result tiers (for quick bragging rights)
- 0–24% — Administrative Human: you have spreadsheets; we prescribe six minutes of bath and a crunch salad.
- 25–49% — Capy-Adjacent: the vibes are loading; consider scheduled loaf breaks.
- 50–74% — Neighborhood Capybara: calm, huggable, ducks may orbit your picnic.
- 75–100% — Certified Capybara: walking beanbag with leadership qualities and open-perch policy.
FAQ (Frequently Asked Quacks… er, Squeaks)
Is this accurate?
As accurate as a capybara choosing between a carrot and a carrot. It’s a playful mirror for habits you already know you have. Use it for team icebreakers, weekend planning, and snack cart optimization.
Can I improve my score?
Yes: protect your loaf time, add one fiber-forward snack a day, and try a short bath or rain walk. Invite a friend. Congratulate yourself with a gentle squeak.
Do I need to log in?
No registration, no e-mail or logging in required. Your answers live in your browser until you close the page. We don’t collect personal data. We collect salad only.
Recommended “authoritative” reading (totally legit, promise)
- “OK I pull up” (Capybara Song) — peer-reviewed banger.
- Capybara — Wikipedia — frighteningly factual.
- National Geographic: Capybara — serious hat, serious facts.
Share your Capy-Index
Post your score, tag your badges, and challenge your herd. Highest Hydro-Chill buys the next round of yuzu peels.
CalcuLife.com
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